Once upon a time, not so long ago, I had a fey, utterly beautiful and extremely fashionable friend. She was ill very often, but she always bounced back and when she was well, we were bright-eyed with plans to start a fashion blog, go places, do things. Physically, her heart was flawed, but in every other way, it was the most precious heart I had ever seen. Her courage was indomitable, her faith, enviable.
We share a birthday and on that fateful birthday in 2015, I was in Italy and had just suffered a robbery. But, she was worse, because she was in the hospital again. We wished each other and she said not to worry too much about things that were lost, because I was still healthy and the world was waiting for me. I felt empowered, because this was true. I felt very small, because, even from her hospital bed, she was consoling me. This was the last thing she ever spoke to me. She passed away two days later.
My world has ever been a little darker. Nothing and no one has had her kindness, her grace. Upon her passing, her family gave me several of the clothes she had bought (she was a bit of a shopaholic you see) 🙂 They wanted someone who would wear them with appreciation and her memory. At the time, I remember being horrified. I refused, but they said I would be doing them a huge favor, taking these constant reminders. With a heavy heart, I brought everything home and stashed it away.
It has taken me one and a half years to be able to wear the first of these clothes. In these years, there are many days when I have never thought about her and then there are days when her memories have haunted me. Never more so than when I wear her clothes. Because, you see, I still think of them as her clothes. But, enough time has passed that the memories I have are mostly happy ones. She was a real fashion maven. Just take a look at the outfit below.
She bought psychedelic prints and pleated skirts before they became fashionable. She did transparent shirts before the celebrities did them. Her sense of style was unique and she was one of the biggest influences on the way I dressed, and continue to dress.
This skirt is almost a piece of art and I feel so beautiful wearing it. The yellow crop top was one of the blouses in the huge bunch of clothes I got and I think she would approve of my choice.
Top and Skirt: Accessoryville (The site no longer exists)
Makeup: Eyeliner from Lakme, Mascara from L’Oreal, Compact from Colorbar, Blush from Maybelline, Lipstick from Sugar.
I paired the skirt and top separates with pink bling shoes from Koovs and an off-white Calvin Klein watch. I chose to go with maroon lips because by this point, I had tanned to a scary shade of blackish-brown and my complexion definitely needed the lift that a dark lip would give me. 😛 A cream and white tote that held my essentials completed the outfit.
This is not the only outfit I inherited from my friend. There are so many others and every time I wear something from her, I feel this….pang. Memories – the good ones vie with the pain of loss in my heart. There are so many ways of remembering someone and paying tribute to their memory. Writing this article is one of my ways. I am not mentioning names because I would like to respect the feelings of her family. But… my dearest, you know I am thinking of you. Your compassion and empathy stump me more today than ever before. If I can be half the human being you were, I think perhaps I would be proud of myself.
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” – Rumi
Because I believe this, I say, see you around babe. In the meantime, I hope to make you proud.5